Arkansas Senator Mark Pryor: Ashamed To Be Called A Prostitute, But Proud To Be A Thug

At least some prostitutes have a sense of humor.[1]

A Tuesday evening press release published by PR Newswire announced that the winner of Girls Gone Wild’s “Search for the Hottest Girl in America” would land in an unlikely place: an office on Capitol Hill.

Not only would she win the coveted title of “Hottest Girl in America,” she would also get a four-week internship in the office of Arkansas Democratic Sen. Mark Pryor.

To be clear, I know of no credible allegations that Arkansas Democratic Senator Mark Pryor has ever sold his body for the sexual pleasure of paying customers.  Any implication that Pryor is a prostitute arises naturally from his status as a United States Senator. It isn’t his virtue that Pryor sells: He had to sell that to be elected in the first place.  No, if Pryor is a prostitute, it’s because he daily sells his vote to the highest bidder in return for campaign contributions.

Senator Mark Pryor

The release itself, to be clear, does not directly call Mark Pryor a prostitute.  It merely takes advantage of justified public cynicism[2] about Congressional morals[3], and perhaps Arkansas politicians in general[4], in a crass attempt to make a buck.

So we’ve established that Mark Pryor is probably not a prostitute, literally speaking.

As for Pryor’s qualifications as a thug, we’re on firmer ground.  He’s called in the Federal Bureau of Investigation, demanding that the author of an obviously parodic press release be prosecuted for “fraudulent impersonation”, “attempted fraudulent sale of a government office”, and unauthorized use of the Great Seal of the United States Senate, whatever that means.

How obvious is it that the press release was a parody?  Judge for yourself[5] by reading the (now edited) original:

According to [Girls Gone Wild founder Joe] Francis, “At this time more than ever, women need strong representation in Washington. Women’s issues and rights have been completely assaulted by the Republican candidates during this year’s Republican primaries.” Francis goes on to say, “When this opportunity presented itself, I felt there was no better way to empower women than to send the winner of Girls Gone Wild’s ‘Search for the Hottest Girl in America’ contest to Washington D.C. I truly believe that women, not men, should be making decisions for women in this country.”‘

No doubt the overreaction on Pryor’s part came from his surprise at learning that Joe Francis is not an advocate for women’s issues, and that “Girls Gone Wild” is not a feminist wilderness conservation society.

Pryor knows that the FBI will inform him that no crimes were committed in the writing of this press release, though it’s certainly possible that tits were shown.  That makes him none the less a thug, threatening criminal prosecution from his perch in the United States Senate over an obvious prank, and wasting the time and resources of the FBI in the bargain, time that agents could have spent on vital government business such as walking illegal guns into neighboring countries, entrapping 17 year old boys in false plots to blow up non-existent buildings, or planting electronic listening devices in houses of worship.

All for nothing: it’s damned hard[6] to make Joe Francis look like a good guy, and Senator Mark Pryor isn’t up to that task.  Unfortunately, it’s easy to make the Senate and Congress look like a corrupt cesspit of bloviating thugs, and for that, I guess, Mark Pryor can be proud.

Last 5 posts by Patrick Non-White


  1. ^ have a sense of humor. (
  2. ^ justified public cynicism (
  3. ^ Congressional morals (
  4. ^ Arkansas politicians in general (
  5. ^ Judge for yourself (
  6. ^ damned hard (

Source URL: Read More
The public content above was dynamically discovered – by graded relevancy to this site’s keyword domain name. Such discovery was by systematic attempts to filter for “Creative Commons“ re-use licensing and/or by Press Release distributions. “Source URL” states the content’s owner and/or publisher. When possible, this site references the content above to generate its value-add, the dynamic sentimental analysis below, which allows us to research global sentiments across a multitude of topics related to this site’s specific keyword domain name. Additionally, when possible, this site references the content above to provide on-demand (multilingual) translations and/or to power its “Read Article to Me” feature, which reads the content aloud to visitors. Where applicable, this site also auto-generates a “References” section, which appends the content above by listing all mentioned links. Views expressed in the content above are solely those of the author(s). We do not endorse, offer to sell, promote, recommend, or, otherwise, make any statement about the content above. We reference the content above for your “reading” entertainment purposes only. Review “DMCA & Terms”, at the bottom of this site, for terms of your access and use as well as for applicable DMCA take-down request.

Acquire this Domain
You can acquire this site’s domain name! We have nurtured its online marketing value by systematically curating this site by the domain’s relevant keywords. Explore our content network – you can advertise on each or rent vs. buy the domain. | Skype: TLDtraders | +1 (475) BUY-NAME (289 – 6263). Thousands search by this site’s exact keyword domain name! Most are sent here because search engines often love the keyword. This domain can be your 24/7 lead generator! If you own it, you could capture a large amount of online traffic for your niche. Stop wasting money on ads. Instead, buy this domain to gain a long-term marketing asset. If you can’t afford to buy then you can rent the domain.

About Us
We are Internet Investors, Developers, and Franchisers – operating a content network of several thousand sites while federating 100+ eCommerce and SaaS startups. With our proprietary “inverted incubation” model, we leverage a portfolio of $100M in valued domains to impact online trends, traffic, and transactions. We use robotic process automation, machine learning, and other proprietary approaches to power our content network. Contact us to learn how we can help you with your online marketing and/or site maintenance.