Arkansas Senator Mark Pryor: Ashamed To Be Called A Prostitute, But Proud To Be A Thug

At least some prostitutes have a sense of humor.[1]

A Tuesday evening press release published by PR Newswire announced that the winner of Girls Gone Wild’s “Search for the Hottest Girl in America” would land in an unlikely place: an office on Capitol Hill.

Not only would she win the coveted title of “Hottest Girl in America,” she would also get a four-week internship in the office of Arkansas Democratic Sen. Mark Pryor.

To be clear, I know of no credible allegations that Arkansas Democratic Senator Mark Pryor has ever sold his body for the sexual pleasure of paying customers.  Any implication that Pryor is a prostitute arises naturally from his status as a United States Senator. It isn’t his virtue that Pryor sells: He had to sell that to be elected in the first place.  No, if Pryor is a prostitute, it’s because he daily sells his vote to the highest bidder in return for campaign contributions.

Senator Mark Pryor

The release itself, to be clear, does not directly call Mark Pryor a prostitute.  It merely takes advantage of justified public cynicism[2] about Congressional morals[3], and perhaps Arkansas politicians in general[4], in a crass attempt to make a buck.

So we’ve established that Mark Pryor is probably not a prostitute, literally speaking.

As for Pryor’s qualifications as a thug, we’re on firmer ground.  He’s called in the Federal Bureau of Investigation, demanding that the author of an obviously parodic press release be prosecuted for “fraudulent impersonation”, “attempted fraudulent sale of a government office”, and unauthorized use of the Great Seal of the United States Senate, whatever that means.

How obvious is it that the press release was a parody?  Judge for yourself[5] by reading the (now edited) original:

According to [Girls Gone Wild founder Joe] Francis, “At this time more than ever, women need strong representation in Washington. Women’s issues and rights have been completely assaulted by the Republican candidates during this year’s Republican primaries.” Francis goes on to say, “When this opportunity presented itself, I felt there was no better way to empower women than to send the winner of Girls Gone Wild’s ‘Search for the Hottest Girl in America’ contest to Washington D.C. I truly believe that women, not men, should be making decisions for women in this country.”‘

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